The Figurehead vs. Father Muskrat

Cover the couches with those fancy plastic slip covers and breakout the aerosol airfreshner, I’ve been interviewed by Father Muskrat. I think the kids call this “passing along a meme”. I’ll keep it simple though and just call it “being interviewed by guy who has known me since 1985.” Questions by Father Muskrat as answered by The Figurehead.

1) You’ve known the Muskrat since 1985. What’s your earliest memory of the young Muskrat? How has your first impression changed (or not changed)?
Although I’m sure Muskrat sees himself as Kevin Arnold, I viewed Muskrat as the Paul Phifer to my Kevin Arnold. I mean really, I was the short and stocky one that had girlfriends. The Muskrat was skinny, wore glasses, and had “inappropriate” reactions to females in those days. Somewhere between 10th-12th grade though the Muskrat changed. Over the years he’s grown bigger and stronger than me – and he’s still smarter (see Paul Phifer) than me. Darn you!

2) You’re the best natural athlete I know. What’s your favorite sport to watch? Favorite to play/compete in?
I’m flattered, although I don’t totally agree. I was conversing with another life long friend a few days ago about friends of ours who are freakish athletes without much effort. I commented to him that I’ve always viewed myself as a “blood and guts” sort of athlete. I’ve always been successful at sports, but not because I’m a natural athlete. I’m stubborn and am willing to suffer in preparation for sport like most folks aren’t. That goes a long way in athletics. As for my favorite sport to watch; tough to say, as I honestly am a sports junkie. Nostalgia makes me a baseball fanatic. I also love the speed and blood and guts mentality of hockey. And what real man doesn’t love football? The 3 weeks of the Tour de France stand alone though at the top as being my favorite. Explanation would be too lengthy. As for my fave to play – wrestling is still number one in my heart, but in my mid 30’s now triathlon is my best bet. I still harbor dreams of another trip to the World Championship and someday of Ironman Hawaii.

3) Does Dave Ramsey say “better than I deserve” when asked how he’s doing in person like he does all the time on the radio?
No. It’s like getting the Eagles to play “Hotel California” or Tommy Tutone to play “867-5309” in concert these days. C’mon play the classics! As much as I beg him, he just won’t say it!

4) How’s the little African boy whose picture was on your parents’ refrigerator in 1990 doing these days?
Wow. Shows what you know; he was from Haiti (I think). The last we heard of him though he had changed his name to Pac man and was “making it rain” somewhere in Vegas.

5) In 1993, you agreed with The Dead Milkmen’s “I Don’t Want to be on the Beach” sentiment pretty strongly, yet now you have pictures of South Carolina all over your house. What changed?
Well back then I also wanted the Misfits skull tatooed over my entire back. I also wore combat boots with my jeans tucked into them and red suspenders with every outfit. That crap gets exhausting really. Life is much easier on the beach. Smiling Faces and Beautiful Places.

Thanks Muskrat….now get off my couch…and keep yo babies out tha street!


3 responses to “The Figurehead vs. Father Muskrat

  1. Hilarious! I can’t believe Joseph Pascal was from Haiti. I can’t wait to fly west and see him perform. And by the way, I have way fewer allergies than did Paul.

  2. I think I may have just crossed the line into learning a little TOO much about you, Chad! I was still processing all the info I have gained in the past year or so, now I have this to add too!!!! 🙂

  3. I thought I was the most naturally gifted athlete of our group of high school friends. I guess y’all won’t ever let me on the Cool Porch.

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