The Horror … and the Glory


Just in time for Halloween here’s a little horror story for you. I’m living the bachelor life tonight. Izzy is with Mom and Dad and I’m home alone having visited Karen early this morning. My best friend the Muskrat is coming into Nashville tonight so he’ll arrive here at the house to spend the night around 10:00. I thought I’d settle in and watch some hockey and some football for awhile and prepare myself some dinner. I’m keeping it simple though because I’m just too tired to cook.

I opened the freezer and retrieved a Marie Calender Chicken Pot Pie. Mmmmm….I love these things. This one even comes with that little silver thing to crisp the top. I fought the urge to look – I even managed to read the cooking instructions (6:30 in the nuke) without even peeking at the Nutrition Facts. I knew better. The Jackolantern on the kitchen table smiled at me and I senses his eyes following my movements. Candles lit those eerie smiles all around my home and somewhere in the distance I could smell a bonfire, I could hear bats taking flight from the trees, and something rustled in the shrubs just outside my kitchen window. Then it seized me!

I peeked…first at the fat grams. No!!!! Then at the calories. Stop!!!! and finally at the sodium. Please!!!!!!! I couldn’t stop myself. 38 grams of fat, 640 calories, and 1100 mg of sodium.

Yes my friends, I was indeed in the clutches of both the Horror … and the glory of a frozen chicken pot pie. Why do I love them so? It’s called the Stockholm Syndrome (look that one up.). I’ll wash this monster down with a regular Coca Cola classic…another 140 calories and 39 grams of sugar. Glory – sweet glory. When the Muskrat arrives we’ll enjoy a few beers to celebrate – God knows I need more calories!

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3 responses to “The Horror … and the Glory

  1. Nice! You’re a prophet. And let it be known to all that this kid fed me an ice cream sandwich, chips + salsa, and black&tan for dinner.

    Enjoyed seeing you. Was bittersweet to know today’s the last day I’ll be in Nashville for a long, long time.

  2. and a tall plastic cup of milk! you ungrateful rodent!

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