Why Robert Smith? and My Intervention


You guys know how shattered I was to hear that the mastermind of my favorite band of all time, The Cure, will be collaborating with Ashlee Simpson. Thanks to a few good friends I’ve been talked down from the “proverbial ledge”. Here’s how the email intervention went:


WHY?????!!!!!!! WHY????!!!!!!!!!!

Colbey, we need a PUNK night!

Jim Bob (yes that’s his real name):

What the CRAP??!!

The Figurehead:

Seriously!!!!! I’m done with them. First they play with KORN and now Ashlee Simpson. I knew the writing was on the wall with “Friday I’m in Love” years ago.

I should have put Joshua Tree as my #1 album of all time! At least Bono isn’t performing with Ashlee Simpson.

Jim Bob:

Done with them??? You need to check it fo’ you wreck it. Bono might as well bring a pulpit on stage with him these days..lest we also forget that he (not in collaboration) came up with Discotechque and other lovely tunes. So, pee on your “should have put Joshua Tree..blah blah blah.” Sometimes in a marriage,
Figurehead, your spouse will do something out of character and crazy. Consider this Robert’s midlife crisis. Also consider the punk fundamentalist soapbox you have been on the last couple of weeks and at least admit that you could be overreacting a bit.

Figurehead: Bobby, c’mon dude…ASHLEE SIMPSON!!!!!!!!!!! Just think about that for a minute: ASHLEE SIMPSON. I’ll remember the good times with Robert and with Bono too for that matter. Let’s just hope that someday Ben Gibbard (Death Cab) and Colin Meloy (Decemberists) don’t go that direction with their music. You know what scares the crap out of me? What would Kurt be doing musically these days if he were alive??? Would he suck? Who knows. Is Michael Stipe still cool?

The Cure needs to release a “Disentegration”-esque album to redeem themselves in my mind.


I felt the same way when Michael Stipe (and REM) teamed up with KRS -1 to do “Radio Song” and to open up one of the greatest albums of all time (Out of Time) with it none the least!

Plus…Michael teamed up with Mandy Moore a few years back for the Brian Wilson classic “God Only Knows”.

Jim Bob:

Finally a voice of reason coming from the vicinity of
Nashville. Why don’t we wait and judge the merits of the collaboration before we start proclaiming that certain artist aren’t our favorites anymore. Yes, I get it. It’s Ashlee Simpson. That sucks big ones, but how do you know that Ashlee didn’t promise to get Jason Cooper a date with Jessica if they do it? Slow your roll before it’s too late


True. I panic when it comes to The Cure.

Colbey R (the Zombie):

At least we have this:

Danzig Digs Into Archives for “Lost Tracks”

(actual text witheld by the Figurehead)

This might make you feel better (streaming video and audio):

THE CURE FESTIVAL 2005: fascination street, just like heaven, never enough, etc


One response to “Why Robert Smith? and My Intervention

  1. I dunno dude I have been writing off many a band these days for their actions.

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